With straightforward instructions like “let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up” (Eph 4.29) and “do all things without murmuring and arguing” (Phil 2.14), expressing criticism can be a spiritually dangerous activity.
So, when is it safe? Here are some ideas
- when you have prayed about the issues/person, as much as you have criticised it
- when you are as positive about other things as you are critical about this
- when you apply to yourself self same standards as you apply to the thing about which you are critical
- when the intensity of the criticism matches the significance of the issue
What else should go on this list?
I think that you do have to check yourself to see if you actually ENJOY putting the boot in… I know I do. It isn’t meant to be pleasurable, if it is sincere.
My role model in all matters critical is Hannah in 1 Sam 2:1.
“My heart exults in the Lord;
my strength is exalted in the Lord.
My mouth derides my enemies,
because I rejoice in your salvation.”
The best criticism of all stems from a joyous trust in God’s salvation.
Gordo, great point about joyous trust in God – and thanks for the self-disclosure!
But how would you reconcile ‘derision’ with the texts in the original post?
Katay, a broad answer might be along Augustine’s line, “Love God and do as you please.” That is, “Rejoice in your salvation” (like Hannah) and say whatever you want. Maybe I’m being a bit too character deontological here, but I would say that you have to take into account who is speaking.
If like Hannah you’ve been beaten up by grace, you can say all sorts of things and get away with it.
But the texts you quote are always useful and pointy tests to apply to ourselves from time to time, just in case we get it wrong (and we do).
What about:
When you have listened generously to your opponent and put the best possible construction on their words/actions.
When you are prepared to enter into a conversation with your opponent about the criticism you’re levelling (i.e. if you just want to criticise and run, you’re not ready yet).
When you’ve privately and discreetly asked four trusted Spirit-filled people whether your criticisms are biblicly, theologically, and pastorally valid and/or for public consumption.
Justin’s public consumption point is a good one.
If you wouldn’t use those words speaking to someone face to face, you shouldn’t be posting them.
Lots of good thoughts – although I wasn’t particularly thinking of public criticism to begin with.
Another way to put Natalie’s idea is to say that it’s safe when you have listened as generously to others as you expect to be listened to yourself. I find myself to be spectacularly generous to myself about my motives in saying something, opportunities I deserve to clarify misunderstandings etc!
the idea in the first quote is for the benefit / building up of others is key.
For a number of years I taught a course at MCSI called “Theology and Everyday Life” and one of the lectures was “Conversation as a Spiritual Discipline.” where I’d summarise the biblical teaching on human speech is that our speech is at its best when it
*is receptive to God’s prior speech… God has spoken first
*benefits and edifies the community
*is wise, apt, honest
This is contrasted with our usual speaking that puts “self” at the centre:
*self-promotion
*self-justification
*self-denial
*self-revelation
*self-denial
I then suggest the idea of “self-donation” is the only conversational discipline that does. I think “criticism” should fall under the same criteria…
if my criticism is self-promoting or self-justifying, it probably isn’t worth saying!
Hi Andrew,
my question is about whether the use of the word ‘criticism’ is an appropriate one for us to use, for several reasons…
Firstly, It’s a word that’s invested with negative connotations to begin with, which doesn’t help the person passing criticism, or the recipient.
I also think that more often -what we today might call ‘criticism’ , is more like what the bible would describe as “passing judgement”?
Secondly, the scriptures do talk about the appropriate place, purpose and process of ‘rebuke’, but more often than not, ‘biblical rebuke’ can be mis-used as yet another excuse or opportunity to pass ‘criticism’ or ‘judgement’ on a fellow believer.
Therefore, I think we often confuse (and therefore potentially abuse) all of the above.
Then of course, there’s the secular managerial word -‘feedback’ or ‘critique’- which has an educational/training edge to it’s meaning, with an aim to improve in skills, mature in competetence etc…
-is that more what you mean?
So, when we ask “when is criticism spiritually safe”- I still want to ask- is it a scripturally accurate word? Therefore, will the use of the word take us to ‘spiritually safe’ places.
My own thoughts are, we are usually doing one of 2 things, (neither of which the modern use of the word ‘criticism’ would apply).
We are either..
1. Helping another person move out of sin-in which case the Bible gives us clear guidelines about how we are to go about that helpfully and rightly (which may or may not involve rebuke as the only method).
or
2. Helping a person grow in skills & competencies, of which helpful, encouraging, guiding feedback principles would apply.
just a thought…
thanks for your thought provoking blog Andrew.
Sarie, thanks for your comments, very helpful.
I was thinking at a slightly different level – more along the lines of complaints or criticism about policy and practice, and so more at the level of the second of your 2 alternatives.
I guess one question I have is when it’s not the situation of one person helping another person (which kind of presumes that one is more knowledgeable than the other) but when a group of people are all trying to work out how to do things better, and there are different views – including strongly held ones.
My guess is that we don’t do so well then.
And your point about rebuke is excellent. My experience is that one of the most important things is for the standard to which you are seeking to hold someone be really clear beforehand!